Friday, June 5, 2009

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle



I don't want to grow up.
Or rather I am not ready to act my age. This is why I have always been friends with people younger than me. That way when they are finally old enough to be experiencing things I might be ready to experience them myself.
These next few years will not be the easiest.
Will I revert back and avoid growing up by finding younger friends. possibly losing the others? It is the easiest way out but i don't Want that to happen.
People are asking how things will change. Only time will tell. While i am hopeful things will work out, i can't help but feel that it may just explode in front of my eyes.

On another note:
I cannot remember the last time I have been truly excited. The giddy, nonstop smile, and bouncy nature that takes over when there is a big event or a new crush.
Its like when you're sick and you can't remember what it was like to be that sick. I can't remember how it feels to be so joyous.
I miss that feeling.
I think... I need something to be elated about.

i need to be awoken to something bigger than me.

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