No Sleep Tonight

There are special days or nights rather where going to bed early is precisely what you should be doing. O but just you wait that will be the night that CRAZY things start to happen to you or your friends. Don't go to sleep, stay up for the crazy time. Now before I continue you cannot make the case that there will always be fun things going on so you should never go to bed early. False. I'm not talking about your friends are up watching a movie or just talking. I'm talking about the nights that ridiculousness is going on and you have to be there cause to hear the story second hand the next day will be torturous.

Need an example? Oh hey I've got one from last night. I love my housemates we all have a different history with boys, some have had long term boyfriends for years and others of us are living the single and mingle life. One of those girls has had a rough go of finding a quality guy. After being strung along twice in college she had yet to have her first kiss. Enter St. Patricks Day 2011. We ended hanging out with a group of semi-mutual friends, two of which globbed on to me and my friend but that’s another story. At the end of the night one of the sober guys walked us home. It was clear he was into my housemate and after a while I went upstairs with my other housemate. We waited a the top of the stairs sure this would be quite a night because you see my housemate had never been kissed. Now I mean COME ON I can't just go to sleep and not hear what happened that night. Which is why I ended up staying up until 4:30 am when I had to work at 10am that day. Its is these nights that bond you with people and give you really awesome stories. So occasionally throw sleep to the wind and enjoy where the night has taken you.

Come and Go

An important lesson I didn't learn until college was the fact that not everyone you meet in your life is meant to stay in your life forever. I had caught a glimpse of this idea back my Junior and Senior of high school but I didn't truly understand what exactly it meant until recently. It sucks that people who are your friends now won't always be around but at the same time it's kind of cool how God works people into your life. The right people come along at the moment you need them to teach you or learn from. The hardest thing about friendships like this is you never know when you need to fight to keep the friendship or realize they are just a drifter in your life. There's no clear cut way to determine which type of friendship you have and sometimes you don't realize that person was meant to walk in and out of your life until way after the fact. Maybe you just needed someone to spark your creativity or make you step outside of your comfort zone. These people can sometimes be just as important as the long term friendships you will keep. It's always so interesting to see how your life will be effected and molded when someone with a different and new perspective finds their way into your life.

Homebird

My whole life I lived having to tell my parents where I was going, what I was doing, and who I was going to be with. After moving into the dorms, I got in the habit of not having to explain myself. Usually my roommate would know what I was up to since she happened to be in the room as I got ready. But other than that I enjoyed not having to explain myself and what I was doing.

Then came this year. I moved into a house where all of the girls are my good friends. We hang out in the family room by the door and they would see me coming and going. I, in my own world, would leave without notice or explanation. I didn't realize how that looked to my friends. Luckily they finally told me that they thought I was upset with them for abruptly leaving. I felt terrible because that was not the case at all.

I didn't just feel bad because I was hurting my friends, but I realized that my housemates have made our awkward cottage into a home for me. In fact, my Klaaren home has been more a home to me than the place I grew up in. When I walk into that cottage I hope that everyone is home and when no one is, I'm bummed. I never feel like I have to hide there like I often feel when I am back at my parent's house. Now as I am back home in kzoo I desire to get back soon. I love my family and I love spending time lazily around the house, but it isn't quite the same anymore. I have created a new home base.

Freshman year I distinctly remember how we all started to refer to Hope as home and would correct ourselves. Now, Senior year, I don't think I have to correct myself anymore. It is home. A different kind but a home none the less. It is going to be so strange next year when I will have to establish a new home for myself. The security of the past four years gone. I guess you know you found a great fit in a school when this happens. Perhaps it occurs regardless of where you go. Rather it is the people you find that make a place home. So don't be scared when you start to feel your life belongs more in your new place than your old. I guess it only means we are growing up (which in itself is scary I suppose) and realizing that is a pretty stellar experience.

Any Moment

Seriously long break between entries. Sorry about that. But I think the topic I chose to return with suits the reason why it took so long.

16 credits, internship, sorority president, campus job, homework to finish, and a social life? Ha. Just a glimpse at the typical life of a college student. During this time we are expected to find activities that will fill all of our time with important and resume packing experiences. This is an incredible time of life with so many opportunities presented to us, we would be fools not to take advantage of them.

It isn't easy to find a balance in life, especially while in college. There are so many thing you should be doing and yet so many other things you would rather be doing. For me, my serious issue with procrastination and indecisiveness do not help matters. Whoops. Now I'm not expecting you to become an efficient time manager as a result of this bit of wisdom. I think what I want you to take away is don't become too caught up in either extreme. Don't give up a social life for the sake of good grades and never throw away your studies because there are a plethora of fun times being had.

This is way easier said than done, I realize. I guess the best way to assure yourself of this is to become involved in things that mean something to you. Don't just join a group that takes up all your time because you know it might benefit you later. Find things that create a spark in you. Things that make you want to attend their meetings. No one likes having to sit for an hour and listen to people talk on about things, but I love going to Dorian business meetings or working with the girls at Career Services and ending up talking about our own lives more than event planning. Some days in my life and many of my friends we literally are going nonstop all day long from class, to work, to a meeting, etc. Even if we enjoy what we are doing there is something to be said about the times in between the rushing from one meeting to the next.

The moment I walk into my house and find my housemates gathered together in my house exclaiming it is time for a Slurpee run. We all say we have this, that or the other to finish or get to, but somehow eventually everyone caves and we pile into a car and fill our cups with flavored ice for 89 cents. Its times like these the world slows down just for a while. We forget our papers or problems and focus on each other.

The friends that surround you will be the ones to help you keep your life in balance. They will tell you that you have been on sporcle far too long and need to get back to studying, or that you don't sleep enough and become your sleep accountability partner, or realize that you locked yourself in the library for far too long and now need a break to go build a snowman. It is these amazing people who will keep from losing your mind when you have seem to taken on more than you can handle. I promise you can always get through whatever life throws at you. Even when you can't, your friends will be there to push you along. Enjoy the ride!

Bad Body Double

I assume you have already heard of this but, there is this thing called a double standard, don't know what that is? According to dictionary.com they define this as: A set of principles establishing different provisions for one group than another; also, specifically, allowing men more sexual freedom than women.

Basically it means that we get the shaft. Women are told to be modest and pure and when we are as carefree as men we are judged. Lame. There is no reason women need to be put in such a box. If males are allowed the freedom to do as they choose why aren't we? I am not saying I want to be like the douche bag guys who bang every chick they can, but why as females are we looked down upon for having just a bit of "guys" fun? Lots of questions, moral of this story is to beware of this inevitable evil trap.

Truthfully there is very little you can do to avoid this problem. If you never go out you are viewed as a prude, if you start to go out and enjoy yourself you can turn into a tramp. There is no real solution to the problem. My advice though: Know who you are and where you stand. It is easy to get caught up in the fun of going out or staying in out of fear of the unknown. Take risks, this is a great time in life to just let your hair down and say who cares?! If you know who you are, what you are comfortable with, and when to say no you will have an amazing time.

Boys Boys Boys

So I still haven't even told either of you much about this guy situation. Basically it came out of no where. Since this is not the first time I've dealt with such an out of the blue romance craziness, I'm gonna sum up my experiences as of late.

Seriously, what do guys think they are? They don't realize how much power they possess and I don't mean over women like keeping us down or in control or whatever, I mean the power they contain to bring joy and happiness into our lives (and yeah sadness or more commonly frustration) in just a moment. Cause truly like Hitch said, "No woman wakes up saying 'God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!'" I mean truth there are times that trying to add in a partner is waay more difficult (i.e. right now for me) but even still, we want someone to come along that is worth the risk, our time, and the challenges that will inevitably occur.

I have no idea how this whole finding a guy thing works. At all. It just seems that recently men have been falling into my lap. Now my insecurities would say, o this is just total luck and I have no control over what is happening. Yeah, I'm probably kidding myself there. I know I control a lot more of my life than I want to admit to. I have finally become whole by myself. I love myself for who I am. Realizing I am not perfect but being willing to strive to be a better person. Not that you can be in a relationship and be uber insecure and have it work out, but its going to be difficult. That's why dating in high school and such is such a joke sometimes. How can you figure out how to be with someone else when you barely know who you are and what you want.

Moving along, boys will pop up out of no where. You are a beautiful, smart, kind girl. They will find you. It might take a while, usually that's cause they understand they are not worthy of you or are intimidated. Yeah, its annoying, cause you'd rather they try and be able to weed through them yourself, but probably not going to work that way. Then when they do start pursuing you it seems so unexpected. Like you've been this pretty awesome girl for quite a while now… why just now are all these males realizing this, and how am I suppose to manage? Who are the guys worth friending, who should you politely run away from, who just want your body, and who wants your heart? Better yet, who is worthy of having a part of your heart?

I just threw a bunch of questions at you. I wish I had the answers to them. It would make my life a whole lot easier for sure. That's the hard/fun/scary/exciting part about romance. You are literally walking in blind to every situation. Even if you've been in serious relationships in the past, each one is different from the last and you have to figure them out. It's intriguing to work at figuring someone out so intently. I am sure there will be more on this topic as the year progresses but I needed to create a base. Haha Perhaps this is also for me and my mind. It is so cluttered with boy thoughts. Which is good and unfortunate. Anyway, trust in yourself and know that any guy would be so lucky to have you. If the guy you want to be with doesn't realize that, then maybe you should rethink why you want him to begin with. You deserve to be adored.

The Handbook

Awhile ago I started a project for two friends. I decided to write down all the wisdom I have accumulated over the 3ish years I have spent in college. I told them it would be a handbook on how to survive or just deal with whatever college throws at you. I started off strong doing one entry a week. Then as is typical, life takes over and you no longer think there is time for such personal assignments. Over this break I plan to catch up and post them here. Telling myself I have to post a new one weekly on the blog hopefully will keep me more accountable. So now it begins, I'm hoping to have at least 14 posted by the end of break.

Here's the First Week.

I told you I would give you a mini handbook about the college experience and I'm sticking to it. Part of it is because I think it would have been helpful to know this stuff ahead of time, or at least know that someone else has been through the same thing. But also really this (selfishly) is for me, a reflection on my past four years at Hope College and the crazy randomness that occurred and I learned from. I am going to try my hardest to make sure I do at least one entry a week. There are about 36 weeks until graduation ( yes I just counted) so I'll try to reach a goal of 36 for you. Who knows if I'm feeling up to it maybe I'll keep going into summer and add more life/summer experiences. Since we all know summer is its own world really, with its own intriguing tales.

Focus, okay so I'm gonna be back tracking and skipping around, bear with me. I think since it’s the first week of school I'll tell you about my freshman year move-in this week. I'm not sure if you know this story already but the roommate I lived with was not the roommate Hope assigned to me. First I was going to room with this girl Maria. She was actually from Kalamazoo and went to K Christian. Seems cool right, I could easily meet her and get to know her right away. Well plans went awry and I didn't meet her until this Hope Picnic in July. I introduce myself, super nervous and kinda feeling insecure, and she basically is cold and blows me off. This sends me into a panic. My roommate sucks, we will never be friends, how can I live with such a girl!? After a good cry fest in the car, my mom and I went to figure out what my options were.

Conveniently, I had been fb messaging with a girl who had yet to hear back from her roommate and was also freaking out about it. I decided to ask her how she felt about possibly being my roommate for the year, and she said she was thinking about asking me the same thing. So we made the switch so that we were both free from our unappealing roommates. Magically, Brittany and I ended up getting along and though there were minor set backs (I'm sure I'll get to those in this handbook) I couldn't have asked for a better Freshman year roommate experience.

Story time aside, basically what I want to let you know is that going away to college is freaking scary. No need to feel weird about thinking it is, but if you don't think its scary that's okay too. People have their own ways of handling new situations. Clearly things were not going swimmingly for me but that doesn't mean it won't end up working out. Sometimes you have to deal with the hardship to grow and learn about yourself. After that’s all said and done you come out on the other side being a better person and if you're fortunate you get something, like an awesome roommate, out of the deal.

Also, before college starts just know your mom/dad will be bugging you about any and everything they can. Let them. If it really starts to wear you down, kindly let them know that as much as you love them you need a bit of space to just be. Since you're the baby it really could go either way. They might be ready to kick you out and have their own place again or be afraid of becoming empty nesters. Really its about a 50/50 chance of either.